I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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