Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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