How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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