It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
