You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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