He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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