I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
