I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize