The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
