Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
