is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
