I wanna passion pit in your ass
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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