we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
