Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
operation have a gay friend backfired
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
