I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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