who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
