you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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