no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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