Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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