Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
