I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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