nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sorry about my life...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
