I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
