i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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