look no pants
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
