I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
