i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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