Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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