In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
