Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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