You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
