Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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