im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
