So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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