dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
