He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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