Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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