Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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