we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
