toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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