So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
