wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize