i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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