Me. At least after what I've been through.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize