Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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