butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
