That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
pray to the hookup gods
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
