I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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