so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
