That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
bring money and cleavage
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
