**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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