That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
