then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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