Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
