Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize