Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
