I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
