What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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