just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize