we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
