you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
