come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
