Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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