ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
