halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just gargled with NyQuil
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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