I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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